The Impact of Infidelity on Children’s Psychological Development

Children's psychological development is development related to conditions that can affect children's daily lives both in the circle of friends and the surrounding community. There are so many factors that can affect the psychological development of children, including the family environment which will be the closest factor in the psychological development of children. Because basically the family is the first place for children to socialize after being born. The family is the first place for children regarding the social environment. If a child is in a harmonious and happy family, he will experience good psychological development, he will grow into a child who is physically, mentally and behaviorally healthy. However, it will be inversely proportional to children who grow and develop in an inharmonious family environment, such as the occurrence of an affair from one of their parents or both parents having an affair. These problems will have a tremendous impact, both on the perpetrators of the affair themselves, their partners and their children. Children will become victims of the infidelity committed by their parents. The impacts that will be obtained by the child include: there will be a child's distrust of a marriage relationship or distrust of the opposite sex, will cause anger and hatred in the child towards parents who have an affair, will cause indifference to their environment, children will close himself from the environment, the child will experience stress and the worst the child will experience depression. From the impact that the child gets, it will affect the development of the child in the future, both physically, psychologically and mentally. Efforts that can be made to maintain household harmony and maintain children's psychological development can be done by parents by building and maintaining small family harmony, by doing positive things together, spending weekends traveling together, being open to one another. So that the household is harmonious and the development and growth experienced by children is good and healthy physically, mentally and in behavior for the future.


INTRODUCTION
through a promise or commitment (Muhajah, 2016). This phenomenon also appears almost every day in various news media that convey hot news about infidelity that occurs among celebrities. In research conducted by Natalia & Nuzuli (2022) there were more than 200 reports regarding infidelity from 17 February to 14 July 2021 that occurred in Indonesia.
Adultery is mostly committed by men, but that does not mean that a woman does not commit these acts. From the data available (in Khasanah, 2019) it can be seen that recently there has been frequent cases of infidelity by women, an increase in cases of infidelity among women has occurred in working women (Fadiyah dkk., 2023;Hermansyah dkk., 2023). Travis and Sad's survey of married women under the age of 40 found that 27% of women not working or working part time were in a relationship, compared to 47% of women who were working. The knowledge about the many infidelities committed by these women is further clarified by the results of a study by New Woman Magazine which shows that 57% of women find their fraudsters at work and the rest outside of work.
This data does not mean that only women have affairs. And there are also many cases where the perpetrators are men. Based on the results of Ramdhani's research (2019) (in Dewangana & Setyawan, 2021) to 57 respondents a child whose parents had an affair, it was found that 57.9% of children knew about their father's affair, 12.3% of children knew about their mother's affair, and there are 15.8% of children who know their parents' affair. Ramadhani (2019) (in Dewangana & Setyawan, 2021) says that children will still know about their parents' infidelities either exclusively or nonexclusively, even though the parents have no intention of involving their children in their infidelity issues. Parental infidelity can then have various impacts on children who know about it.
According to Muhajah, in 2016 children were the victims who suffered the most from cases of infidelity committed by their parents. Because a child who cannot understand life must lose the love of his parents, which is certain because of the problem of infidelity that occurs. According to Hartanti & Salsabila, 2020, for a child, family is a place for him to feel comfortable, get attention, get affection from both parents and a place for children to depend on (Fiqih dkk., 2023;Pamuji & Limei, 2023). When the household experiences a rift caused by an affair that occurs, the child will experience disturbances in his development towards adolescence, especially in his psychosocial development. According to Dewanggana & Setyawan (2021), parental infidelities can have consequences or impacts on their children for behavior that endangers their safety or health, such as having sexual intercourse, consuming alcoholic beverages, and consuming illegal drugs. The impact of infidelity on a child can depend on the sex, age of the child, and the culture in which the child grows and develops.

RESEARCH METHODOLOGY
The research method is literature review. Literature Review contains descriptions of theories, theories and other research materials which are summarized from the source materials used as the basis for this research activity. Literature review or literature review is used in this study, which evaluates concepts and theories based on the literature on the topics studied. In this study the purpose of the literature review was to build the concepts and theories contained in the research.

RESULT AND DISCUSSION Affair
According to KBBI Cheating is defined as behavior and behavior always hiding something for personal gain, being dishonest, lying and cheating. In Muhajah, 2016, Affair, in terminology, is sexual and emotional activity carried out by people who are committed to a relationship that is seen as a violation of beliefs or norms related to emotional and sexual exclusivity. According to Ismiati (2008) infidelity is the presence of a third person who interferes with the marital life of two individuals. If husband and wife cannot find a solution and forgive each other, divorce is the best way to end the marriage. Basically everyone wants a normal life (Azizah dkk., 2022;Nicholas dkk., 2023). People naturally follow the rules of society, including family rules, but social life, status, social status, and experiences can change a person. Even in married life, if the husband is faithful, the situation that was originally harmonious can turn into conflict and struggle. This fact is sometimes difficult to overcome (Muhajah, 2016).
According to Riyadi & Mansur (2021) Affair is a forbidden relationship between people, whether married or unmarried, with someone who is not their partner. At this time, the word affair is also used for an unfaithful relationship within a household. Infidelity is an aspect and source of problems in the family. Cheating is a form of deviant behavior that is carried out without the knowledge of a partner. Cases of infidelity are usually marked by a change in the attitude of the partner. The most obvious and common attitude change in a relationship is the tendency to keep things secret from partners and family, behave to survive and lie to partners and family.
There are so many problems at home such as: infidelity, domestic violence, divorce and many others. Problems that occur in the household have a broad impact, both on spouses and children. According to Surya, 2009(in Muhajah, 2016 Cheating is a very painful event for everyone involved, spouses and children are not only victims or consequences of the relationship, but society also condemns the act of infidelity. Needs that are not met in business are met through relationships (Putri dkk., 2023;Vicky dkk., 2023). By having an affair, it will give the impression that the problem at hand will be revealed, but in fact it is because of the affair that is the wrong way and will cause new problems in the household.
According to Widhayanti & Hendrati (2011) married life or household with a harmonious and warm atmosphere is certainly the dream of every husband and wife, but the dream of happiness cannot be realized immediately and is not easy to achieve, because every marriage faces various problems and trials that can cause conflict. and interpersonal problems. One of these conflicts is infidelity (Holly dkk., 2023;Levan's dkk., 2022). Islam is a religion with values and rules of life which state that infidelity is a condition that is not allowed and an act that is strictly prohibited. Adultery is a sin and violates religious norms (Muhajah, 2016). As the Word of God Qs. Al-Isra verse (32): Which means: "and do not approach adultery, in fact adultery is an abominable act and a bad way".
Romance in the form of an affair is considered adultery because it causes problems in family life and avoids the realization of a Sakinah, Mawadda, Warahah family. Allah SWT said in QS. at-Tahrim verse 6 which prohibits us from protecting ourselves and our families from the very painful torments of Hell.

protect yourselves and your families from the fires of hell whose fuel is humans and stones; guardians of angels who are rough, harsh, and do not disobey Allah in what He commands them and always do what they are commanded".
From this verse it can be interpreted that a husband and father as the head of the family must protect himself and his family from the fires of hell (Muhajah, 2016).

Factors -Factors that cause infidelity in the household
According to Surya (in Muhajah, 2016) cheating usually occurs in family members who lack strong religious character, weak foundations of affection, unbalanced and harmonious communication, selfish attitudes of both partners, feelings of instability and unable to adapt to the relationship (Amrina dkk., 2022;Saputra dkk., 2022). In addition, unfavorable environmental factors can influence the emergence of an infidelity relationship. For example, a child who grows up in an adulterous family is usually an immature (mature) individual and when he grows up tends to do the same thing, namely having an affair. When it comes to raising children, infidelity is an unfavorable environment for a child's development. In such a situation, it is difficult for the child to find examples and guidelines for life.
In Muhajah, 2016, the factors for infidelity include: 1. There are opportunities and opportunities When someone who doesn't get or doesn't get what he needs from his partner, he will look for ways to get or fulfill things that he doesn't get from his partner. And when there are opportunities and opportunities that he can take advantage of, then he will take advantage of these opportunities and opportunities to fulfill his needs earlier.

The occurrence of conflict with a partner
When it comes to raising children, infidelity is an unfavorable environment for a child's development. In such a situation, it is difficult for the child to find examples and guidelines in life. Over time, a desire will appear to vent it or fulfill it outside and with other people. In today's modern environment, households or marriages are usually formed based on prestige, just because the family is rich or wealthy. The couple may hide the problems or requests that arise in their household, but both partners seek an outlet for their lust with the cheating partner. 3. Psychiatrists say that many mental and nervous disorders are caused by sexual problems Sexual disorders can cause various types of psychosomatic diseases that result in physical health problems. So, emotional health really depends on managing the sexual side wisely.

Sex or animalistic disorders
Currently porn videos can be obtained easily. Many husbands secretly watch porn videos without their wives knowing. Finally, a husband gets information on how to have sex in the western style which is completely vulgar and tends to be inhumane (animalistic). It being one of the sex disorders resulted in incompatibility in bed. As well as partner dissatisfaction in sex.

Empty Faith
The void of faith is the cause of all evil human behavior. Likewise, problems or conflicts in a marriage are signs of poor faith formation. Faith ensures that a proud person stays on the right path because the believer feels that God is watching all of his actions, preventing the believer from committing adultery or committing acts close to adultery. 6. The loss of shame in an individual. Shame is part of faith.
The problem that will arise from infidelity in the household is divorce. Divorce that occurs will have a painful impact on the parties involved, such as spouses, families and children. Divorce can also cause stress and trauma for individuals when they start a new relationship with the opposite sex. In Sarbini and Wulandari, 2014 Divorce is the second biggest cause of stress after the death of a partner. Divorcing couples tend to be more readily divorced than their children (Fathia dkk., 2022;Maryati dkk., 2022). Because before a couple divorces, long considerations are usually carried out in the household, so that the couple is ready physically and mentally. But not with children, they must accept the decision of their parents without any thoughts or shadows that their lives will change.
According to Sarbini and Wulandari (2014) the psychological influences felt by a child caused by his divorced parents include the following: 1. Feeling insecure These feelings about finances and the future because the child perceives their future as bleak. The reason is, he no longer gets attention from his parents, so that when a child reaches adolescence, the child will ignore and not care about his family. The child also tends to be introverted (withdraws from his social environment) both in his family, community and friendship environment because he no longer feels safe in his social environment and views this environment as negative things that can threaten his life. Therefore, children feel they are not getting attention and affection from their parents, so they feel cheated and develop negative ideas about their surroundings. 2. There is a feeling of resistance in the family Children who are victims of family divorce are abandoned by their families because of changes in the attitude of their parents. His parents already have a new lover, namely the stepfather or stepmother, which makes the child feel abandoned and loses his biological parents. Her cheerfulness disappeared and there was only sadness in her. As stated in Sarbini and Wulandari, 2014, divorce is a process that occurs before separation and can be a bad experience and sadness that causes stress and bad psychological effects on children.

Angry
Related to divorce, children cannot control their emotions properly, so children often get angry for no reason, many close friends are the targets of their anger. So that the psychological effects on children become easily pursued and easily defeated because their emotions are out of control. This was due to his experience of seeing his parents being found frequently. It happens when parents get angry in front of their children. Children take out their anger on other people because the child's behavior imitates the behavior of their parents and those who see the behavior of their parents. The child's psyche is not only disturbed, his behavior also changes. As a result, children become irritable, angry and their actions become aggressive, silent or hidden, not happy anymore, mentally ill and don't get along. out with his friends.

Sad
A child is sad when their parents separate or divorce, and they feel lost at puberty. A child whose parents divorce will show physical symptoms and stress due to the divorce of their parents, such as insomnia (difficulty sleeping), loss of appetite, all because of the sadness they feel. Because the phase of children aged 6 to 17 years is the phase where they learn to adapt to their environment. However, the parents' divorce leaves painful emotional wounds for the child. The grief that children experience affects their lives later in life. The sadness experienced by children affects their social interactions where during adolescence children experience trauma, for example confused (insecure) with their peers or other types.

Loneliness
Without love from both parents, a child will definitely feel lonely. A child really needs love and guidance from his parents for his future. For example, a child who has just entered elementary school, usually the child will need his parents to provide guidance to him in completing his work. However, this is different from children who are abandoned by divorced parents, the child will feel lonely, even though the child is cared for by the family of one of the parents or cared for by another party, namely the father or mother as a single parent.

Characteristics of an Affair
According to Widhayanti & Hendrati (2011), more adultery occurs or is carried out by men or husbands against women or their wives. Infidelity by a husband is an act committed by a husband who is dishonest or lies to himself and others, this behavior occurs secretly in relationships with other women so that it interferes with daily life. This is like: a secret relationship someone feels threatened by his secrets and tries to defend himself or acts, for example by saying that the partner's question is not an interrogation, but an interrogation.
According to Satiadarma (in Muhajah, 2016) the perpetrator of the affair will try to avoid things that make him reveal his behavior. The perpetrator of the affair will also increase awareness of potential threats, the perpetrator of the affair creates a new scheme to lie to his partner continuously so that his partner does not know about his behavior (Liam dkk., 2023;Saskia dkk., 2023). In Muhajah, 2016 there is a confidentiality which states that in a relationship there is an affair and this attitude of secrecy strengthens the attitude to continue the affair relationship that is being carried out.
The characteristics of infidelity developed by Allport (in Widhayanti & Hendrati, 2011) are: 1. Often your partner is late at home If your partner often comes home late, always give a reason to work overtime. 2. Give the reason "outside service". Often travel out of town for work reasons and when a partner wants to accompany or accompany them, rejection will arise for various reasons. 3. There is a change in the attitude of the couple. Changes in your partner's demeanor, suddenly turning hot or cold. 4. When a call comes from someone, the partner speaks softly, feels tense answering the call, and moves away from the partner because the call doesn't want to be heard by the partner. 5. There is a change in the relationship between husband and wife. Couples will show sexual symptoms out of control.

Developments that occur in children
Hurlock (in Masganti, 2015) states that there are 5 stages of children's development that occur, namely: 1. The prenatal period, namely the period from pregnancy to birth. When the mother is pregnant, it is still in the form of a fetus until it is born. This period begins with the sperm cell attaching to the egg. Then it continues to develop into a fetus until a baby is born. 2. This baby period starts from the birth of a child at the end of the second week. 3. The end of the second week of birth. Children between the ages of 0 and 3 have mental development that is difficult for adults to influence. At this age children experience strong sensitivity, for example when they see something lying on the table, they cry or return the object to its original place. During this time, children also experience great sensitivity to detail, where they see in as much detail as possible what they attach to an object, for example holding, kissing, or licking. In this case, children also experience sensitivity to their hands and feet, in this case children want to use his hands for many things. 4. Early childhood, which occurs when children are 2-6 years old. With children aged 3-6 years, children can be contacted and certain situations or environments can affect them. This period is characterized by children who are more individual and have enough intelligence to excel. Children of this age have also learned a lot of vocabulary to be able to speak fluently. 5. The end of childhood that occurs at the age of 6 years, 10 years or 12 years. At this age a child is able to think by himself, increases his physical development and growth, and is able to judge things. Moeslichatoen R (in Syaodih, 2020) mentions the characteristics of a child's psychological growth, namely: 1. Have started to develop a child's ability to meet his physical needs in a simple way. 2. Able to recognize and know social life and dominant social patterns that look like: like making friends, obey rules, know their rights and obligations, be able to get along and work together with others. 3. Starting to understand that he is different from other children. 4. Still dependent on others and still need protection and a sense of security and affection from others. 5. Not being able to distinguish between something real and imagined. 6. Having the ability to imitate and follow the activities of adults (in simple forms or activities) around them through play activities. 7. Have been able to solve problems or problems by thinking based on concrete things. 8. Have been able to adjust emotional responses to events experienced so that children are trained to better control and direct emotional expression. 9. The desire to use the physical and social environment begins to grow, which is marked by the child often asking the people around him for information or experience. Developments that occur in a child (Desmita, 2016) are as follows: 1. Cognitive development, namely development related to several other developments such as: a. Perceptual development This development is related to the ability to understand or seek the meaning of everything that is obtained through the five senses. All information that exists or occurs in that environment will be received by the child. The information starts from the five senses, then received in the brain. When children who are victims of cheating parents will think that the household will only cause problems, such as disappointment in their spouse and children will perceive that the household is unpleasant. b. Memory development This development is related to the child's ability to store and maintain the information he receives or gets from the environment. When a child is the victim of a parent who has an affair, he will remember what happened to his parents until he grows up. c. Attention development This development is related to the child's ability in perspective or steps for the child to process the information that is or is obtained. d. Metacognitive development Lidnillah argues that metacognitive development is this development related to the child's ability to understand his own cognitive, how his cognitive work and how to manage it. 2. Psychosocial development, namely development related to several other developments such as: a. Emotional development This development is related to the reaction of a child's feelings when the child is interacting with other people around his environment (Mulyani, 2013). Some children who are victims of their parents' infidelity, will easily express their angry emotions towards those around them. b. Temperament development Developments related to the child's ability to approach other people or respond to their environment. When a child is a victim of infidelity from his parents, he will find it difficult to approach other people around him. When someone tries to approach him, the child will try to stay away from that person, because he will not easily trust other people. The child will be difficult when approached by other people. c. The development of relationships with parents This development is related to how parents care for their children. The parenting style applied by parents to children will have an impact on the relationship between children and their parents. When a parent has an affair, a child will try to close himself off because he doesn't trust his parents. d. Development of relationships with peers This development will be influenced by his friendship environment, both at school and in his home environment. Where the child's behavior will be influenced by his friendship environment. And when a child is in a circle of friends that doesn't suit him, he will try to stay away and find other friends. When children have family problems such as infidelity by their parents, children will feel embarrassed to be friends with their peers. Fear will appear in him, afraid of being shunned, afraid of not being accepted by his friends. There are some children who are victims of cases of infidelity, their parents choose not to have friends. e. Gender development Gender-related development. Where this development is influenced by genetic, social and cognitive. Parents have a very important role in providing understanding to children about gender in the environment, differences between genders (Pujisatuti, 2014). f. Moral development According to Hurlock (in Rakihmawati & Yusmiatinengsih, 2012) moral development is the development of behavior in accordance with the rules that exist in the social environment, this moral behavior is controlled by the concept of moral rules of habitual behavior for individuals in a culture.

Impact of infidelity on children
The impact that will occur from infidelity is very much, both for the offender, his partner and his children. The impact of infidelity on children (Muhajah, 2016) includes: 1. The victim of an infidelity relationship that occurs, who suffers the most, is the child. If the other parent has an affair while the child is growing up, there may be consequences that don't really affect the child. But unlike a small child, the impact is felt. This makes the child confused, indecisive and uncomfortable because his family can no longer set a good example. Children may refuse the help of their parents and families. 2. A child's anger towards his parents can have other effects, such as: sexual hatred.
For example, a daughter who hates her father for hurting her mother. A child may hate all boys and then develop feelings for the same sex or girls, or the child may not want to have relationships with members of the opposite sex, such as boyfriends. B. marriage, the child no longer believes in marriage because he sees the relationship between his parents. 3. Parents are role models for children. If your parents are having an affair, that's definitely not a good example. However, children can "copy" this during marriage. It is also possible for a child to think that "my parents never cheated on me, so it doesn't matter if I do." 4. As a result of the second incident, the child can feel very depressed, stressed, depressed and down. Such feelings of pressure can calm a child down, he doesn't want to socialize, and his academic performance suffers. 5. Children who are victims of their parents' infidelity are not always silent, there are also children who rebel, because the child's soul is still unstable, children who are under severe stress can also lead them to bad company. Such as: free sex, drugs or even crime. 6. The trauma from the affair that occurred or was perpetrated by the parents affects not only the feelings of the recently changed partner, but also the children. Child trauma can be in the form of a child's fear of getting married or having a relationship with the opposite sex. Green (2015) (in Dewangana & Setyawan, 2021) says that a child whose father knows he is having an affair, in the future he will imitate the behavior of his father. This is because a father is a figure in every behavior of his children, so that whatever a father does will have an impact on his child's moral and mental growth. A child will really need direction from his parents, when his parents have an affair, then the child will misunderstand a moral understanding of sexuality. The act of cheating that occurs will have an impact on the child's relationship with the parents who commit the affair, because anger and hatred will arise in the child for the actions of the parents.
According to Hartanti & Salsabila, 2020, the physical and psychological impacts of children will be interrelated because the child's psychological condition that is not doing well such as stress, depression which is the impact of infidelity by the parents will also have an impact on the child's physique or growth. child's physique. Children with mental disorders such as stress and depression will be lazy to eat or lose their appetite, this will affect the process of physical growth. Children can experience malnutrition due to non-fulfillment of child nutrition.

Efforts to overcome infidelity
According to Muhajah (2016) efforts that can be made to deal with infidelity and child psychological disorders, prevention efforts can be made such as: 1. Maintain harmony in the household by loving and returning spouses and children, accepting partner's shortcomings. 2. Instill intention and determination in parents to maintain harmony in the household, maintain the household, and make the small family happy for the future together. 3. Breaking up an affair if it has happened, and remembering that there are children and partners. 4. Self-willingness to change as a better parent for children and to become an even better partner. 5. Avoiding the possibility of infidelity, you can do it by taking frequent weekend vacations with your spouse and children.
6. Being with a partner or often going out alone with a partner, so that the relationship is closer and maintained. 7. Fostering good communication in the household by talking about everything with your partner or talking about events that happened at work, telling complaints, telling what things need to be improved in the future with your partner for household harmony. The role of parents is very important in the growth and development and psychological care of children, because they must be prepared before running a household, prepare themselves physically, mentally, financially and feel capable of carrying out their obligations as a couple and as parents for children.

CONCLUSION
The act of infidelity at home has serious consequences for both the spouse, oneself and the child. Children will also be victims in this matter. Affair will have a considerable impact on children such as the psychological impact. A child who is a victim of the infidelity of his parents and carries out a divorce in the household will also greatly impact the child, both physically, psychologically and mentally. Child psychology will be disrupted, children will keep their opinions and emotions more secret than expressing them. Children also become someone who is not easy to trust their parents and other people. And it could be that children feel afraid or traumatized to have contact with the opposite sex, or are afraid of having a household because they think that a household will only lead to separation.
Efforts that can be made to prevent infidelity in the household include: 1. Maintain harmony in the household by communicating well with partners, talking about things that can be discussed properly with partners for future household harmony and for the future of children. 2. Spend the weekend traveling with your spouse and children to strengthen your relationship with your spouse and children. 3. Able to convey partner's complaints well and give a positive view of the problem at hand. 4. By loving your spouse and children, accept your partner's shortcomings.
Therefore it is very important the role of parents in nurturing, guiding and looking after children in the process of growth and development. And parents must be able to maintain, maintain and create harmony in the household.